How do you get along when you dont agree on anything?

Ever since my wife and I met, she was quite aware that I was a gaming addict. Despite this major time consuming flaw, she saw past it and we fell in love. Eventually we married and began our life of marital bliss.

Not long after marriage it became abundantly clear that she was not getting her fill of...me. If you have ever read the book "5 Languages of Love", you will understand what was going wrong. In short, everyone has different ways of expressing love. There are in fact 5 basic ways. Physical, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, and Gifts. At least I think those are it.

My 2 main languages are Physical Touch and Words of affirmation. This means I like hugs, kisses, sex (who doesn't), and compliments, "I love you", or "Hey good lookin." My wife on the other hand prefers Quality Time, and Words of Affirmation. While we are fortunate enough to have 1 in common, we also have 1 very uncommon one. In fact, "Quality Time" rated as one of my lowest which means that sitting on the couch with her for 4 hours was the LAST thing on my mind.

For our first year or so of marriage, it was tough. I was always on my computer, playing games, or reading. I didn't give her much attention. At least not as much as she wanted. Plenty of arguments followed over how much time I spent playing games instead of with her. In my view, I was the greatest husband ever. I constantly complimented her and told her I lvoed her. I would hug her, pinch her, and do anything on my mind to let her know how much I loved her.

The problem was that I was not speaking her love language. I was showing her affection in my way but it was hitting a wall. Over time, I have had to learn to sit on the couch with her or sometime just lay there and cuddle for hours. For me - this is very hard. My head is constantly running at mach 3 with ideas, thoughts, songs, plans, and just about anything. Sitting in one place and doing one thing for a prolonged period of time is hard for me.

To all you guys suffering from relationship issues, I STRONGLY recommend that you and your loved one read the "5 Languages of Love". It made and is still making such a huge difference in my marriage. I now spend most of my time on the computer when she is not home or at night when she is sleeping. I also learned the wonderful value of the laptop. Now I can be on the couch next to her AND on the computer with no backlash!